PHOENIX, AZ -- The Arizona Cardinals have suffered a breakdown of sorts. Their bandwagon has been damaged and is in for repairs.
Said a source within the organization, "This thing has really taken a beating over the years, what with all the jump-ons in '98 simultaneously jumping off in '99, but this year has been unbelievably brutal." The source asked that he remain anonymous unless the team starts winning more.
This has been a remarkable season so far for locals who lack other means of transportation. The source continued, "For most years, when the local bandwagon gets deserted, the fans run to the Chicago, Denver or San Francisco rides, but they've been stalled for most of the season." Currently, the favorites among bandwagon riders appear to be the Packers and Cowboys.
Arizona's problem this year has been an unending series of starts and stops. With a new coaching staff, many had joined the bandwagon before the season started, but an opening night loss in San Francisco emptied the vehicle rapidly. When the team returned home and beat division rival Seattle the vehicle regained some of its original load.
The week three loss in Baltimore did not seriously impact the team since hope in the form of Kurt Warner in the hurry up offense seemed to make fans uncertain of the future, but a week 4 win at home over Pittsburgh brought fans on board in droves.
"I knew the bandwagon was having suspension problems, and I thought that Steelers game was going to be the straw that broke the camel's back, but she surprised me and kept tugging along."
Survival was sweet if short lived. Midway through the first quarter of the week 6 meeting against Carolina saw Warner go down to injury to join starter Matt Leinart on the bench while watching five day member of the team, Tim Rattay valiently attempt to command an offense he had just begun to study.
"It's the first time I know of where so many people jumped off all at once, and in the middle of a game at that!" With the vehicle moving at the time of the mass departure, the bandwagon spun out of control hitting a tree.
The team source indicates that a return to duty could happen as soon as this weekend but cautions that the normally calm streets of Detroit could be more treacherous than in previous years. The team is cautioning fans who wish to return to the bandwagon this week that they should wear seat belts at all times.
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My apologies for the above. I was bored, and the hand wringing over at www.arizonasportsfans.com concerning how to fix this team (need to improve the coaching, the quarterbacks are weak, Fitzgerald is letting us down, the defense needs to keep us in these games) is frustrating to me. I fully expect this team to win the division. I even expect them to have a double digit win total at the end of the season.
Go Cards!
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